Who is this chick anyway?

How awesome that you came!!!

Welcome to my beautiful planet.  Guess what?

It is NOT normal here.

Paula Howley

I am Paula Howley:

female human being, home schooling mom, author, kids’ public speaking teacher, comedian in training, ex-stripper, seeker, philosopher, activist and provocateur.   A student of life, I love meeting other students to see what kind of shit we can kick up together.

Empowering the ‘powerless’, humanizing the humans, and en-couraging the fearful is my raison d’etre.  I have been powerless, human and scared so I am an expert in my field.

My first book, which I hope will do all of these things, “How To Get Out Of The Business: 8 Sex Workers Reveal Life Changing Strategies” is being edited RIGHT NOW and I can’t WAIT to share it with you!   totally re-written RIGHT NOW.

I interviewed 8 ex-strippers and/or prostitutes who have left ‘the business’ and are now thriving in civilian life.  By thriving I mean that they define their lives as having meaning, and they are healthy and happy.   They are good with who they are.

It takes serious moxie to move from sex work to the real world and it takes strategy too.  Believe me, it’s not easy to explain away a 10 year gap on a resume.  But the women I’ve talked to are intelligent, interesting, bold and vulnerable.  Some of them are hilarious.  Some of them are weird.  One of them is me.

But in some way they each inspire me.  And I feel truly honoured that they have trusted me with their deeply personal stories.

Near the end of writing this book however, something happened.  I realized that I did not have any stories of women of colour.  Not cool.  How could I have been so white about that?  So I am seeking out more stories to round this larger story out and make sure ALL the voices are being heard.

In the meantime, I discovered that it was nearing time for me to tell my deeply personal story.  So, I’ve been writing my memoir. This is the one I’ve been wanting to write for fifteen or so years.  I hired a coach to help me begin in 2016 but it is still being written.  I am delving into the catholic shit right now- the least fun of all, but it must be done.  And when I’m done writing this book, seriously, I really can die happy.

In the meantime, let’s talk.  Let’s talk about deep stuff and silly stuff.  Let’s talk about deep silly stuff, and be internet friends.

Thanks for the visit.  Stay in touch because we are gonna do some really cool shit.



5 comments on “Who is this chick anyway?”

  1. Pingback: This is not the 2015 World Championship of Public Speaking | A Year in the Life of a Toastmaster

  2. Joan Higgs Reply

    Hi Paula, I just discovered your blog. Love it! Been thinking of coming back to Toastmasters and maybe the Sechelt group could work for me… I’ll look up the meeting times.

  3. Christine Reply

    Love it. Love it all. I’m your biggest cheerleader; watching and taking note as I prepare my own story to share with the world about who I really am, what makes me so different, why my outlook seems to be so vastly extreme compared to “normal people”. It’s been such a pleasure to meet a kindred spirit with so many commonalities and all the fire that I used to have…(my flame has fizzled and equates now to a used up match stick) but I’m finding it again…and I have a feeling you’re going to play an integral part in that, my friend.
    I’ve gone from being neglected, insecure, bullied, a “slut”, voted most likely to end up trailer trash, pregnant at 16, high school drop out, and welfare recipient, to being one of the most empowered women you’ll ever meet. Stripping did that…
    To many, I’m an accomplished business woman and I “have it all”. With 14 companies between my husband and I, a happy marriage of 22 years, beautiful and intelligent children, and a winning a number of prestigious industry awards and no visible ailment, I get that it all looks great from the outside.
    But I have a big secret…I’m damaged goods. We all were…I never met a girl from the strip or sex industry that wasn’t either abused in some form or another; raped, molested, beaten, neglected, or abused emotionally or physically. What I really want to bring light to, is the damage that was done to us all and how it affects our lives. And so kudos to you, Paula; for getting so fired up about what’s finally coming to light following the #metoo phenom and for being a voice at this time when I’m finding so much difficulty finding my own…

    • Paula Howley Reply

      I think there isn’t a human alive who isn’t damaged goods my friend. Yes, most women in the industry have been abused in some form or another but it seems we are discovering that that is the case for virtually every female on the planet right now. The sooner we destroy the dichotomy of madonna/whore and embrace ourselves for the full women that we can be, the sooner we can begin to repair this poor wretched earth.
      I was blessed/cursed with a big mouth and impulsive tendencies so there’s not much I can do about that. lol I’m glad that it has served some greater good as well as me constantly living with my foot in my mouth. lol
      I adore you amazing woman. You are really, truly, incredible and I look forward to your story unfolding in all it’s messy gloriousness.

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