It has only been a year and a half now that I have, after a decade and a half in the sexual desert that was Christianity (and I understand that there are some Christian couples with satisfying sex lives), been exploring my own sexuality again. It has been one of the most fulfilling and satisfying
Tag Archives: Paula Howley
I’ve been writing on Fetlife- a fetish social media site for almost a year now. https://fetlife.com/users/8079687 It’s probably the best and most revolutionary writing of my life. I have been excavating myself, discovering who I am and I’m very proud of the work I’ve done there. I have created over 110 pieces of writing, 8 videos and
When we last left the little redheaded girl, she had just become a Jesus Freak, moved in with a total stranger 3000 miles away from home, quit her job and joined a church that became nationally, notoriously anti-gay. I’ll let that sink in a minute. I honestly don’t remember many actual conversations about the actual morality of being gay.
When we last left the little redheaded girl, she had just purchased a plane ticket to British Columbia to be with Liam – a man she had met and fucked for one night -sans orgasm on either side- and spent many hours talking on the phone with. One conversation over the Christmas holidays was particularly
Because my parents are British, our family didn’t communicate unless we were talking comedy or sports, or if we were drinking- since liquor makes you think you’re funnier and watching sports with beer is a solid English tradition. So that’s how we bonded. Being funny was serious business and a lot of our comedy relied
I’ve always been a comedy junkie. It’s in my DNA. With British parents, the main form of communication in my family was sarcasm with a side of soccer. Burning one-liners were revered around the kitchen table and if you could do that while scoring a goal, you were the Pele-Christ. I grew up on Monty
Srinivas Rao sent me an advanced copy of his upcoming book, “Unmistakable”. I’m sure he sent out dozens of unproofed copies but still, to be on his radar is pretty cool. I’m reading it now, slowly. One section at a time and yes, it resonates. I’ve had 3 epiphanies just in the past hour. Ephinany
I know with my whole heart that if people are not honest about who they are, they will suffer – even if revealing who they are is distasteful or offensive or ugly or scary to others. You must do it or you will lose yourself.
I know this because I have been hiding myself all my life.
People sometimes tell me how brave they think I am and I laugh inside my head because I know that fear is a long time dance partner of mine. The only reason I do ‘brave’ things is because I can’t live with the alternative. I don’t think there’s anything brave about that, it’s just practical.
When I got my first Featuring gig (which was out here in British Columbia at the Blue Boy Motor Hotel in Vancouver), I had to put together a bunch of shows that said “I get more money than regular strippers”. Some of the ways of distinguishing yourself as a Feature were gymnastics tricks, props like