When I got my first Featuring gig (which was out here in British Columbia at the Blue Boy Motor Hotel in Vancouver), I had to put together a bunch of shows that said “I get more money than regular strippers”.
Some of the ways of distinguishing yourself as a Feature were gymnastics tricks, props like neon paint that you’d pour all over yourself under the black lights, theme shows (teacher or doctor with coordinating songs like ‘Hot for Teacher’ or ‘Bad Case of Lovin’ You’) and of course, your standard sequins.
Want to do a feature cowboy show? Just glue sequins all over a pair of ripped jeans, stud out your bra with rhinestones, throw a cowboy hat on and dance to “Back in the Saddle Again.” Done.
Every time I hear that song, that’s what I think of- my ripped rhinestone pants and the Blue Boy hotel with it’s tiny stage 20 feet off the ground. I’ve been off my writing for almost the entire month of December which sometimes feels to me like a huge waste of time what with all the celebrating running around and stuff but tomorrow I am back in the saddle again with a new and improved routine. I did write a few times between all the driving and wrapping and cooking but holidays really throw me off.
“School” starts again tomorrow. We have big plans baby, oh do we ever. We are going to do some more learning about LIFE. We’re going to do some cooking and some real life grocery shopping and we’re going to learn about motors and try and fix our washer ALL BY OUR FUCKING SELVES!!! FOR REAL!
And every day we are going to take 2 hours JUST for writing and reading time. Oh, the LUXURY of it. Life is good. It’s freakin’ hard and annoying, but it’s damned good.
Back in the saddle. Yee haw. (Found draft!!!!! First written January 4, 2016!!!!!!!!!!) WTF???